CONFESSION #190

I sometimes cover my erect penis with a tube sock after I masturbate in order to help keep some of my lingering sperm from slowly trickling onto my body.

P.S. - A banana was used in place of my "manhood" though I like to think I'm a lot longer and wider than the above picture!

P.S. to the P.S. - OK, OK...Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit...Or maybe not?

CONFESSION #189

I’m more afraid of crooked and greedy politicians, judges, lawyers, cops, religious figures, doctors, and corporate America than I am of common street thugs.

CONFESSION #188

Many, many years ago, while working as a disinterested cook at a Pizza Hut restaurant, I used to purposely and deliberately make “faulty” pizzas I liked just so I could hopefully take one home with me at the end of my work shift.

CONFESSION #187

Instead of relocating or mercifully stepping on an intruding bug, ant, or spider, I sometimes spray and torture them with a household cleaning product only to remorsefully watch them die a slow and agonizing death.

CONFESSION #186

I’m ashamed to admit, I was embarrassed of my best friend in junior high school whenever his acne flared up and our classmates made fun of him.

I deliberately and cowardly tried to avoid him when he needed me the most.

CONFESSION #185

While working as a down and out suburban cabdriver, I used to occasionally and illegally “jump start” my meter in order to squeeze a few extra dollars out of my passengers, especially if they were jerks or drunk.

CONFESSION #184

To me, one of the sexiest things a woman can do is volunteer or even better yet, simply be a good mother.

But on the other hand, I’m also your typical male so watching a woman lick and suck on a popsicle also has the same effect on me.

CONFESSION #183

My passport was stolen right out from under me by a female masseuse while getting a “massage” inside the tawdry walls of a cheap and shady looking motel room.

CONFESSION #182

I believe the “expert” opinions of psychologists and other similar, so called, mental health professionals are about as credible and reliable as a train full of carnival psychics, only way more expensive and full of more shit.

CONFESSION #181

I caught a relative of mine using some of my personal property in order to commit a felony though I never turned him or her over to the police as I had originally wanted to and inquired about soon afterwards.